august 2021

it's season 2 of this anime lets gooo

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i got a character of mine compared to a digimon protagonist. that was pretty funny

i still have not started work on my schedule yet, my therapist told me to

hmmm maybe i can just autohotkey a task thingie, that sounds interesting yeah

mildly complicated code stuff stresses me out when i try it

i made an array for something one time but the concept itself failed to catch on me

is this because i burned myself out into a breakdown from lua one time?

i should speak to my therapist about this

of course it probably is just the magical pain that happens when you're learning something

i want to speak to whoever decided making us suffer for learning is a good idea

the evolutionary thing that put the learning center with the pain center of our brains


i have erased my copy of the neocities page image from the world

see you later, space cowboy.

made the decision to eat chips while trying to game. booted up epic battle fantasy 5 (hooray to mouse only games)

it's been nearly 100 hours and i still haven't decided to throw hands with the final boss, probably because i'm doing all the optional content

which reminds me that i threw hands against the greenwood library boss and didn't realize i wasn't on epic until it was too late to go back and re-fight it, which means i missed out on the achievement for defeating it on epic.

seeing that spot in my medal collection is saddening... but i'll probably fight it when i go on a custom game.

p.s. while i linked to ebf5 i saw a review that simply contained the word booba. what a sight


i'm on DA COOL!


got super carried away writing what ifs so i spent all of the daily energy points i get on writing on that.

what are you looking at they're fun as hell to do >:(


i got carried away drawing and didn't program my schedule thing

atleast i drew these things

hi i'm making this update at 9:35 pm, i have done a terrible mistake and waited until the very end of my day to make a schedule thing in autohotkey

i guess i could put a download for it here if you wanna try it out but i don't know how to make downloads and i think neocities doesn't want me to do it because i'm on THE FREE... version of it. which means neocities is hosting my site for free.

before i went to bed i played some EBF 1 on normal mode. the Beholder was acting kinda funky this run, he kept using THE SECRET CENSORED MOVE on Natalie, which poisoned her. whenever Natz used Purify to remove the poison, he would use the SECRET CENSORED MOVE again. the beholder and Natz kind of went on a loop of purifying, then getting tentacled, then being purified again, until i finally had enough and decided to just soldier on with Natz poisoned anyways.

poor regirock never got his own medal.


was at therapy. also HOLY SHIT I DID IT


opened a compartment in dad's car and found a flashlight, a bolt cutter and most importantly one of these handle things that are usually behind a wheel. it had a pressable button so i pressed it. like crazy

update: it was this car's controls of the window wiping thing that cars have. it broke off

also learned that dad needs to use a screwdriver to activate them now, so that was wacky to learn

got to keep the controls now the button is mine to press for the future >:)

played some final fantasy sonic x

god it's just as awesome as i remember. finally beat hard mode on ep6. pro tips: in hard mode Gigabreak regens your health. so it ends up becoming a resource management game

like. hot damn. no wonder why crossovers ended up becoming a guilty pleasure for me when there was awesome shit like final fantasy sonic x and super mario bros z. are they products of their time? yeah. are they absolutely great and a classic? also yeah

today is looking to be a mixed day from what i experienced. sure my schedule was fucked because therapy starts at 6 am and i come back at 10 am, screwing up the time i was supposed to do things AND sleeping til 3 pm

but there were fun moments such as obtaining dad's car handle and playing some cool ass games from my childhood.

CHECK THIS MAINTENANCE PAGE OUT YO, i used it to cover up the ideaverse while i worked on it

i got 1001 views on my website yesterday on 8/5/2021

by the time of this writing its 1086 views

that's rad


watched some yakuza revelations

you ever just look at someone, access your inner badass 6 year old who pretends to do it in their head, say "holy shit" or "that's rad" and immediately become proficient in that fighting style?

yeah me neither

though actually... it makes me wonder how they're doing it

do they incorporate it into their fighting style? like "that's rad. if a box could do THAT, imagine how much damage a bicycle can do."

which makes me wonder... could i incorporate other people's way of doing stuff into my style? sort of make a "style scrapbook" with various bits and scraps of other people's artstyles

that sounds cool. saying outloud to people "i have studied the style of dozens of artists to forge my own path" also drips badassery. looks like i had a revelation of my own

(i wished it was more grandiose though)

joined a roblox discord server for a remake of an old game i used to play. not to really engage with the community but for benefits

honestly the experience was kind of uncomfortable

namely in that i'm extremely glad i didn't end up too edgy like the people i see on it's general channel

and that i'm kinda spooked of being subconsciously influenced into acting like them.

but also because it brings back some bad memories. just knowing i'm on there is disconcerting.

i hope i can get my multiplier and leave soon... feels like being in a bad part of a town.



feels good to be free

a friend had a status that cycled through the lyrics of a song

asked them how

now i have betterdiscord installed. now, the world can hear the cries of my imprisioned pfp to be set free out into the realm.

"dude it's so weird hearing someone speak about something you thought was fine or even found fun with so much vitriol" - paraphrased from a comment on a video criticizing super mario odyssey

specifically referring to joseph anderson's who i swear is like a case of dr jekyll and mr hyde

on one hand you have the easily entertained stream anderson and on the other you have critic anderson who collects the nearly 1000 moons you can collect in Odyssey to prove a point

then again there's a lot of sides on a single person.

i have been increasingly feeling "eh" about video essays or reviews or critiques

the cynical ones especially, it's like "this is bad and here's why, i talk lot, say another thing bad, grr"

i know there's people who like those kinda videos and i'm not like "GRR CRITICISM BAD YOU CAN'T CRITIQUE MY GAME!!!!!!!!" (i agree that the moons in odyssey kind of suck, they're like korok seeds but. worse in that you have collect every single one of them to feel 100%, it's like the blue coins in sunshine. ceave gaming did a nice video on both of these issues (can't fully recall if ceave has a video on odyssey's moons) and u should check them out) but? it's just not my cup of tea.


i like steamed hams, it was a cool meme

people really got creative with the edits while it lasted


today i realized that i'm using the american version of dates

american measures are wacky. we have inches, feet and it's month/day/year instead of day/month/year.

mordetwi is BACK but real OGs remember Dan (from VS Dan) x Pinkie Pie

fr tho it's wacky seeing all the fanart of it, that the drawing of someone who was clueless and young could explode in such a manner...

it is inspiring.

pick up old game

try not to die in nostalgia

boy, i die! shidd boy!

boyo-ass how i thought that i actually got 1001 views when it was probably search engines all along! Massive Fail!


i must not let Dumb and Bad Moments live in my head rent free....... they gotta Get Out Of Here they have not paid rent in YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also wow this is. likely a lot of search engine bots, if a portion of my 1300+ views are from search engine bots

so if search engine bots count as views, i guess i'm potentially being read by the starting form of skynet (just maybe) so i should still put all my spirits into this.

like i'm writing for a Real Audience.....


okay so i made a new webpage (it has something to do with the maintenance stuff)

my view count spiked

yeah it's definitely robots... if a new page spikes my view count by that much i'm pretty sure the 1400 views i now have are like. 90% made out of search engine robots

around 1600 views. i was actually messing around with a few images around this website, ensuring they stay as pixel-perfect as possible.

the poor search engine bots must have been like "BRO WHAT IS HE DOING???". i feel bad for them


do these search engine bots think i'm causing the bot equivalent of a commotion? or an earthquake

internet shorted out for like a minute there. i was a bit confused and a bit bejazzled and confounded but it turns out that it was unplugged. wack

i have offered a tired drawing to appease my schedule's demands, like if i was the master of a ritual and offered a sacrifical lamb to a godlike being that i believe in

i go to bed!

i wake up!

thought about the past too hard and got bummed out

also i realized about the existence of the activity tab and how it likely registers me updating. lets see if it works

ah yes, at such an important time does my internet start chugging and lagging and crapping and dying. i'm out here performing SCIENCE and my internet doesn't want me to figure out the blasphemous truth like it's the Catholic Church.

it seems like my updates are registered on a day-to-day basis. i will now update this after the period of 24 hours and see if it pops up on the activity.

okay, test update, test test

wow yeah my internet's too slow for this. my test update didn't show up on activity either, so that was interesting. maybe there's a certain threshold in... something, that needs to be passed first. views, quality... interesting stuff.


therapist: hey so uh if you're treating this as your diary shouldn't it be private


me: fuck

so yeah don't expect much ranting or personal stuff on here now LOL


i am tired

there are some things better left off as perpetual, eternal mysteries


i am still tired. wow i should NOT stay awake at night doing stuff.



it's messing my schedule up badly


comically large cats would be pretty comical to hug ngl


oh god, i seem to have come down with a case of raiditis... i- i don't think i have much l



hmmm do i have anything worthwhile sharing here? maybe not!

i did listen to the banger that was Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters Season 1's opening theme

it's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-duel! YOUR MOOOOVE! YUUU GII OOOOOOOO


NO......... i GAMED too hard and NOW IT'S 11:25 PM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DANGIT!!!!!!!!!!


i've been in a bit of an upset funk recently.

just been grinding away at rpgs and stuff like that...

i'm gonna do something today


i saw the most cute gif of a cat ever. look at it's eyes. it is so damn cute. It is so damn cute.

Observe it for yourself.


i scrolled down the activity list and... wow

wow, it's long. there's so many people in there.

and it's kinda... well, you know how you try to think about big things and it ends up overwhelming you with its sheer scale? yeah, basically i'm experiencing something like that.

considering that a lot of these people probably have stories of their own to tell. their own struggles, their own victories, their own lives

sometimes the world feels so big like this, and sometimes the world just feels... minuscule.

that's cool, i guess.


i just chilled with some friends and drew some pictures

honestly this feels more of a break day than yesterday (which was my actual break day).


got some AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION in a stream and boy does it feel good

i also wrote a little story! check it out here.


mmmmm cheese


watched a video about how roblox is likely exploiting young people into developing stuff for them


nearly finished something special and secret today